lately I don't feel like myself. I hate everything about myself. I hate the fact that I still have 2 years in uni. I hate my oh-so-boring hair! I'm bored with my face. How can this be?? I'm bored with my face??? How can I live a long life if I hate my own freakin face???
sighh..
My life is just not like it was used to be anymore. My life used to have its excitement, but right now? idk. I hate everytime that I have to think about everything. I don't think it make any sense. but I also bored with all my clothes.. it feels like I want to burn it all.. burn everything..
I know how it sounded very terrible, but I cant help it. it's as if I don't have any life besides uni, assignment. and everyday I'm always annoyed, angry, bitching and stuff. I mean that wasn't me at all! I used to be very happy, cheerful, laugh on every little things and I don't care about a little thing that doesn't concern me. what is wrong with me?? really?
Well, right now I'm trying to find something to do to get my mind off of things. and I will definitely cut my hair this week or next week the latest. or else I will become crazy.. really.. sigh..
just hope everything will be better for me. and I have decided to do yoga again after a year break. I need all the positive energy back to me as soon as possible.. =)
wish me luck guyss..
love yaa
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Friday, November 6, 2009
Break from Studying..
I'm actually enjoying this very much.. after several hours doing past exams, I decided to go through my clothes (again).. and then take some picts.. XD
and this is today best pict I have taken.. I wore a gold leggings with boy's t-shirt and some girly hair accessories to complete the attire... ~.~
and this is today best pict I have taken.. I wore a gold leggings with boy's t-shirt and some girly hair accessories to complete the attire... ~.~
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xoxo
F.N.
Monday, November 2, 2009
I HATE YOU!!
I hate you for copying me!
I hate you for being two faces bitch!!
I hate you for being fake!!
I hate you for everything that you do or have done.
I hate the way you laugh!
I hate the way you talk!
I hate the way you walk!
and most definetely I hate the way you staring at me from head to toes!
sighh..
so much hatred..
I always hate this kind of feeling.
it wasnt like i havent gave you any chance. i tried to be nice and all, but you still annoyed me to death. so, maybe you should read my blog and get out of my face!! seriously.. how can such creatures exist in this world? HATE YOU ALWAYS!!
I hate you for being two faces bitch!!
I hate you for being fake!!
I hate you for everything that you do or have done.
I hate the way you laugh!
I hate the way you talk!
I hate the way you walk!
and most definetely I hate the way you staring at me from head to toes!
sighh..
so much hatred..
I always hate this kind of feeling.
it wasnt like i havent gave you any chance. i tried to be nice and all, but you still annoyed me to death. so, maybe you should read my blog and get out of my face!! seriously.. how can such creatures exist in this world? HATE YOU ALWAYS!!
a song that describe me best..
I Know That You've Been Calling Me,
And I'm happy that we met.
Don't think that I'm not interested.
I'm just playing hard to get
So much about this crazy game they call love
That I'm trying to understand,
So could you be my best friend,
Before you call yourself my man
Why can't I love you in slow motion,
Take my time,
Take away the pressure on my mind
Really get to know you
But rewind
Wanna love you in slow motion
Why can't I?
You seem to know just what you want
And I like your confidence
Some things a girl should never rush
Cause If you do you hurt yourself
I'm too young for tears in the night
And it's to soon for this to be right
Don't wanna mess with your pride
The questions not when but why
And I'm happy that we met.
Don't think that I'm not interested.
I'm just playing hard to get
So much about this crazy game they call love
That I'm trying to understand,
So could you be my best friend,
Before you call yourself my man
Why can't I love you in slow motion,
Take my time,
Take away the pressure on my mind
Really get to know you
But rewind
Wanna love you in slow motion
Why can't I?
You seem to know just what you want
And I like your confidence
Some things a girl should never rush
Cause If you do you hurt yourself
I'm too young for tears in the night
And it's to soon for this to be right
Don't wanna mess with your pride
The questions not when but why
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
My Kind of Day
I can't stop myself from smiling.
good things keep on coming to me and I don't know whether I shud be scared or not. I'm afraid of what will come tomorrow.
okay, I think what I said before was a bit "lebay" LOL.
yesterday, I was sort of in a bad mood cos of my visa thingy. And the form hadn't even finished yet when I was decided to call it a day. and this morning when I woke up, I already thought that today's gonna be another boring day. turns out I was wrong. I knew that my day would be better when I saw him with his cap and homie style. it wasn't his best appearance at all but wat the heck rite?? at least I can see him before I go to syd..=D
and anyway, my day did get better and better. maybe because the positive energy from inside me that makes every single thing that me or other people did was good.
yea.. enuf about today..
good things keep on coming to me and I don't know whether I shud be scared or not. I'm afraid of what will come tomorrow.
okay, I think what I said before was a bit "lebay" LOL.
yesterday, I was sort of in a bad mood cos of my visa thingy. And the form hadn't even finished yet when I was decided to call it a day. and this morning when I woke up, I already thought that today's gonna be another boring day. turns out I was wrong. I knew that my day would be better when I saw him with his cap and homie style. it wasn't his best appearance at all but wat the heck rite?? at least I can see him before I go to syd..=D
and anyway, my day did get better and better. maybe because the positive energy from inside me that makes every single thing that me or other people did was good.
yea.. enuf about today..
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
25.08.09
It’s been awhile since I liked a new guy.. well, I finally found him.. I’m not telling his name or which uni or anything like that. But one thing for sure, he is Indo and he’s HOT!! That’s all I can tell, though.. I don’t want to sound like a stalker or anything, but I do know his name and which uni he’s from. But I’m not sure he knows mine though.. that’s quite embarrassing .. T.T and freaky in a way.. LOL.. who cares, rite? The thing is I’m happy and so does he.. he has an adorable secret admirer.. =P
This blog has been quite boring lately. Sigh.. Idk wat to do with it. I don’t feel like writing anything in this blog and yet I don’t want to delete this blog as well. Sigh.. idk wat I want.. lame lame lame.. T.T I’ll try to upload so many things as possible tho.. so just u wait!! =D
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Fiona Ng
This blog has been quite boring lately. Sigh.. Idk wat to do with it. I don’t feel like writing anything in this blog and yet I don’t want to delete this blog as well. Sigh.. idk wat I want.. lame lame lame.. T.T I’ll try to upload so many things as possible tho.. so just u wait!! =D
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Fiona Ng
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Summer in July
It’s been like forever since my last update. I didn’t have laptop to write my blog so, that’s why I haven’t been in touch with the internet at all for the whole month (maybe more) and I didn’t really been in touch with my friends here. But, I do love to share all my doings in Jakarta during my semester break.
So basically, I spent all my times with my family which I love so much more than my self. (My sisters will love to read this!! ;D) and of course I had a lot of quality time with my Benji as well, although he had left me with a “vampire-bite” like mark. Well, I love it so muchhh.. it looks so much like a tattoo, but I think it’s fading, so I cannot really show it with a pict. But do remind me to show it to you people who want to see it when we meet. =D
I had some reunion with my junior high school friend as well, not to mention my bestest friend whom I haven’t met for maybe 5 years until this holiday. Well, he speaks funny now. LOL.
Ermm, come to think of it, I didn’t do much, huh? Well, anw.. I did a lot of shopping as well. And most of them are dresses. So I’m looking forward to having some fine dining or maybe some party or perhaps events?
Yepp.. well, that’s all, folks!! Will update my blog soonnnn cause I have lots of benji’s storiesss…=D
Yours truly,
Fiona Ng
So basically, I spent all my times with my family which I love so much more than my self. (My sisters will love to read this!! ;D) and of course I had a lot of quality time with my Benji as well, although he had left me with a “vampire-bite” like mark. Well, I love it so muchhh.. it looks so much like a tattoo, but I think it’s fading, so I cannot really show it with a pict. But do remind me to show it to you people who want to see it when we meet. =D
I had some reunion with my junior high school friend as well, not to mention my bestest friend whom I haven’t met for maybe 5 years until this holiday. Well, he speaks funny now. LOL.
Ermm, come to think of it, I didn’t do much, huh? Well, anw.. I did a lot of shopping as well. And most of them are dresses. So I’m looking forward to having some fine dining or maybe some party or perhaps events?
Yepp.. well, that’s all, folks!! Will update my blog soonnnn cause I have lots of benji’s storiesss…=D
Yours truly,
Fiona Ng
Monday, June 1, 2009
I'M 20 NOW
Here is the 20 years old woman talking. So you better listen!! LOL. I’m in the middle of studying and I feel really bored. So might as well just update my blog, rite?
How does it feel being 20? Hmmm… Well, it doesn’t feel like 20 at all. I still feel like 10 or even 5 except that I’m smarter and grew taller..=p AND well, if u become smarter, then that means more problems as well. I actually missed being a kid where there are no problems and you just have to laugh, play all day, and eat when you are hungry and sing when you wanted to without being afraid of what others might think, and yeahh, you get what I mean.. It’s not like I couldn’t eat, but I would think about how much weight I would gain for consuming so much food. See…… every little thing you do, you have to put into consideration or otherwise it will create even more bigger problems. And when you think, it really does sucks! I hate thinking so much that causing my hair to fall a lot more than usual.
Anyway, this grow up thingy reminds me of the song “Flightless Bird American Mouth”. I assumed you’ve already heard this song from TWILIGHT… while I was listening to the song for the billion times yesterday, I was wondering what the singer was saying. Quick wet boy? Fat house cat? What the hell? I mean, every song would have a meaning, rite? Then I googled it, and find the meaning to be “a boy who loved his life but then as he got older and things happened like betrayal and anger and jealousy and he wants to find the happiness he once had when he was a kid.” Well, it made sense after I listen to the song again.
Btw, it doesn’t have anything to do with the subject above and I know this is random. I just wrote 350 words for this blog in 5 minutes. If only I could do the same for my assignments..>.<
xoxo,
Fiona Ng
How does it feel being 20? Hmmm… Well, it doesn’t feel like 20 at all. I still feel like 10 or even 5 except that I’m smarter and grew taller..=p AND well, if u become smarter, then that means more problems as well. I actually missed being a kid where there are no problems and you just have to laugh, play all day, and eat when you are hungry and sing when you wanted to without being afraid of what others might think, and yeahh, you get what I mean.. It’s not like I couldn’t eat, but I would think about how much weight I would gain for consuming so much food. See…… every little thing you do, you have to put into consideration or otherwise it will create even more bigger problems. And when you think, it really does sucks! I hate thinking so much that causing my hair to fall a lot more than usual.
Anyway, this grow up thingy reminds me of the song “Flightless Bird American Mouth”. I assumed you’ve already heard this song from TWILIGHT… while I was listening to the song for the billion times yesterday, I was wondering what the singer was saying. Quick wet boy? Fat house cat? What the hell? I mean, every song would have a meaning, rite? Then I googled it, and find the meaning to be “a boy who loved his life but then as he got older and things happened like betrayal and anger and jealousy and he wants to find the happiness he once had when he was a kid.” Well, it made sense after I listen to the song again.
Btw, it doesn’t have anything to do with the subject above and I know this is random. I just wrote 350 words for this blog in 5 minutes. If only I could do the same for my assignments..>.<
xoxo,
Fiona Ng
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Lesson of Life
Yesterday I heard a story about Farrah Fawchett and also watched the movie "Speed" again for the 100th time last nite.. Well, not exactly 100 times but you get what I mean.. =)
After reading the story and watching this movie, it makes me think a lot about the life you live. Then when there were this scene in the movie where it shows the expression of Harry just a moment before he died by the bomb, it was like “oh.. shit” that kind of thing. Then it makes me think, what if I was in his position at that time? Then I would think " Is this my time to die? But I don't want to die.... I still have a lot of things to do.." well, I actually dream about it several times. Like when I was in the flight to Papua (I've never been there and I don't know why Papua either), the plane just went off the cliff. Then the plane didn't crash and we still have time to think and so on. We do have time to think but we didn’t have any way out of the plane as well. So that was the time where I felt so useless and powerless.
Then, about the story about Farrah Fawchett, she had a cancer before but it was removed before it comes back again recently. Well apparently it wasn’t only cancer that was detected, but also 9 tumours were found in her liver. It was scary, but the lesson that we should learn from her is that she sees everything positively. She didn’t whine, nor give up. Her will to live is so big that when I hear a story about her, I almost cried.
So, it made me realise it is better for you to do whatever you want now as you cannot predict what will happen to you tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. It is better to regret the things you have done now rather than regret later for not doing anything, right? Well, I always embarrassed myself in front of people but well at least I’m happy now. So what I’m trying to say here is that you don’t have to be stressed all the time. You should enjoy your life and don’t go to the darkside like smoking, drinking, doing drugs, gambling and all sorts of thing.
Well, maybe I just think too much.. I'm just to bored in library right now and suddenly I have the urge to write a blog.. Lol.. Crazy me.... Okay.. Shud be back studying again now..
Xoxo,
Fiona Ng
ps: longest post i have ever written.. =p
After reading the story and watching this movie, it makes me think a lot about the life you live. Then when there were this scene in the movie where it shows the expression of Harry just a moment before he died by the bomb, it was like “oh.. shit” that kind of thing. Then it makes me think, what if I was in his position at that time? Then I would think " Is this my time to die? But I don't want to die.... I still have a lot of things to do.." well, I actually dream about it several times. Like when I was in the flight to Papua (I've never been there and I don't know why Papua either), the plane just went off the cliff. Then the plane didn't crash and we still have time to think and so on. We do have time to think but we didn’t have any way out of the plane as well. So that was the time where I felt so useless and powerless.
Then, about the story about Farrah Fawchett, she had a cancer before but it was removed before it comes back again recently. Well apparently it wasn’t only cancer that was detected, but also 9 tumours were found in her liver. It was scary, but the lesson that we should learn from her is that she sees everything positively. She didn’t whine, nor give up. Her will to live is so big that when I hear a story about her, I almost cried.
So, it made me realise it is better for you to do whatever you want now as you cannot predict what will happen to you tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. It is better to regret the things you have done now rather than regret later for not doing anything, right? Well, I always embarrassed myself in front of people but well at least I’m happy now. So what I’m trying to say here is that you don’t have to be stressed all the time. You should enjoy your life and don’t go to the darkside like smoking, drinking, doing drugs, gambling and all sorts of thing.
Well, maybe I just think too much.. I'm just to bored in library right now and suddenly I have the urge to write a blog.. Lol.. Crazy me.... Okay.. Shud be back studying again now..
Xoxo,
Fiona Ng
ps: longest post i have ever written.. =p
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